Neon’s A Doll A Migraine-less Day, More Or Less - 2019 edition!
Thanks everyone!!! To be honest, coming up with Rebecca's special appliances wasn't hard at all, for reasons most mysterious... I don't mind washing dishes (but I don't enjoy it either), but I hate drying them. I always end up leaving them dry on their own. My mom's dishwasher theoretically can dry dishes, but it never works. And it definitely doesn't sort out utensils and stack plates so that you could just put them away and be done with it...


Day 207

Today we'll visit Graveyard. Most of this district's inhabitants are nocturnal, so it's quiet now, but you can return after sundown and enjoy the nightlife, Friday dances at Grey Lady's are to die for! While the sun's still up, let's pay a visit to a very special establishment...

The Schwarzgrab Funeral Home

[Image: a67b2c7ceba0d3ed8be438ddbf7a78f5.jpg]

Schwarzgrab Funeral Home is the most reputable and really affordable funeral home in Oddwickshire. Most people (and other creatures) in Oddwickshire survive their deaths, more or less, so traditional funerals are only necessary if you rise from the dead in ghost form (you are going to rise from the dead, staying in grave is extremely rare). Schwarzgrabs are the only funeral home offering special supernatural upgrades (which allow you to turn into preferred type of supernatural after death instead of becoming a random revenant) and procedures preventing decomposition issues, so if you plan to use your body post mortem and keep it intact, you probably want to take advantage of their (very affordable!) services, otherwise you have a good chance of becoming a stinky rotting zombie.
Oh, and they’re affordable.


Salome Schwarzgrab

Salome is a great manager and the greatest party planner. Her Goodbye-And-Welcome-Back parties are the stuff of legends! Death might be a rather inconvenient life change, but Salome will help you get accustomed to your new circumstances and make the best out of them. A lot of people think of her as a party animal, but that’s inaccurate. She doesn’t like being the center of attention, she likes being the host, throwing the best parties and making sure everyone is having a great time.


Orpheus Schwarzgrab

Orpheus is the brain behind all the Schwarzgrab trademark raising-from-dead technology and procedures. You can go for Basic Revenant Package, which will simply keep your body from rotting and mildewing, or you can choose one from many Supernatural Upgrade procedures, lately, the Vampire and Fairy* ones have been insanely popular!

Rumor has it that the Queen ordered one created especially for her, and now the people of Oddwickshire are torn - they wish their Queen a long life, but they’re also very curious as to what is she going to turn into when she dies.

Nobody knows for sure, but some people say that Orpheus tested his very first revenant package on himself…

He might come across as a cold nerd completely consumed by his research, but he’s actually very caring, he’s just ex²pressing it in ways most people don’t understand. That’s where Salome steps in.



Schwarzgrabs are one of those rare couples who are happy eventhough their marriage was arranged by their families, and they themselves had very little say in it. Orpheus appreciated Salome for being a capable manager, which allowed him to fully concentrate on his research, and she liked having so many opportunities to throw epic parties, and while they were working on turning their funeral home pet project into a real brand, they grew close and fell in love.

*In some countries’ folklores, girls who die or kill themselves because of unrequited or otherwise unfortunate love will become fairies. Similar stories exist about will-o’-wisps. But Schwarzgrab Supernatural Upgrade - model Fairy will work regardless of what were your circumstances prior to death!


For some reason, Oddwickshire isn't overpopulated eventhough it theoretically should be. It just somehow keeps things in balance. Birth rates are on the lower side, a lot of dearly returned decide to see the world and move out, those who didn't use Schwarzgrab procedures and had bad luck when they returned sometimes rot away and die again, this time for good... The land itself simply seems to be well adjusted to accomodating such a high number of immortals.
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RE: Neon’s A Doll A Migraine-less Day, More Or Less - 2019 edition! - by neon_jellyfish - 07-27-2019, 12:45 AM

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